Procrastination: The Hidden Cost of Putting Things Off

Why delaying the things we know we need to do can create unnecessary anxiety, and how small changes can help us move forward.

Most of us procrastinate from time to time. We put off making that phone call, completing an important piece of work, sorting out our finances, getting back to the gym or dealing with something in our personal lives that we know needs attention.

We tell ourselves we'll do it tomorrow, next week, or when we have more time. Sometimes we convince ourselves that we work better under pressure, or that we simply haven't got around to it yet.

But there is a hidden cost to procrastination that goes beyond the task itself. Often, the greatest damage isn't caused by the thing we are putting off, but by the anxiety, guilt and emotional discomfort we create for ourselves while avoiding it.

The Buddhist Principle of the Two Arrows

There is an interesting Buddhist teaching known as the Two Arrows, which offers a useful way of understanding this.

The first arrow represents the original difficulty or pain that life presents us with. It might be an unpleasant task, a difficult conversation, an examination, a work deadline or a problem that needs resolving. These things are sometimes unavoidable. They are part of life.

The second arrow is the additional suffering we inflict upon ourselves through our response to the first.

Consider an important piece of work that needs completing. The first arrow is the task itself. It may be challenging, time-consuming or simply something we don't particularly want to do.

The second arrow is what happens when we repeatedly put it off.

We know it needs doing, so it remains in the back of our minds. We think about it when we're trying to relax, feel guilty when we're doing something else and become increasingly anxious as the deadline approaches. We may even find ourselves avoiding other things because we feel we should be doing the task.

Eventually, we reach the point where the pressure becomes so uncomfortable that we have no choice but to act. We rush the work, become stressed and perhaps produce something that isn't as good as it could have been.

The original task may have been perfectly manageable. Much of the distress came from the period of avoidance.

In effect, we have shot ourselves with a second arrow.

The important distinction here is that we may not always be able to avoid the first arrow, but we can often do something about the second.

Procrastination Is Not Always Laziness

It is tempting to describe procrastination as laziness or a lack of discipline. However, in my experience as a psychotherapist, there can be much more going on beneath the surface.

Sometimes we avoid tasks because they make us feel inadequate, anxious or overwhelmed. We might fear getting something wrong, being judged or discovering that we aren't as capable as we would like to believe.

Putting something off can provide temporary emotional relief. We don't have to face the discomfort just yet.

Unfortunately, that relief is short-lived. The task remains, and the anxiety often grows.

This can become a familiar cycle:

• We anticipate something unpleasant or difficult.

• We avoid it to escape the uncomfortable feelings.

• We experience temporary relief.

• Guilt, worry and anxiety begin to build.

• The task becomes increasingly daunting.

• We delay further, until the pressure finally forces us to act.

  
  

The longer this continues, the more intimidating the original task can become.

Sometimes, what we are avoiding isn't actually the task itself, but how we imagine we will feel when we do it.

The Same Pattern Can Appear in Other Areas of Our Lives

Procrastination isn't limited to paperwork, work deadlines or household chores. We can also put off making changes that we know would benefit our physical and emotional wellbeing.

Perhaps we recognise that we're drinking too much, using recreational drugs more frequently than we'd like, eating excessively, or spending far too much time sitting on the sofa rather than exercising.

We may know that these behaviours aren't doing us any good, but changing them can feel difficult.

We tell ourselves that we'll cut down on alcohol after the weekend, stop taking drugs after the next party, start eating more healthily next month or join the gym in the New Year.

In the meantime, we continue doing the very things we know we'd like to change.

There can be a similar second-arrow effect here. We might enjoy the immediate relief, comfort or distraction that these behaviours provide, but afterwards experience guilt, disappointment, anxiety or a sense that we're letting ourselves down.

This isn't about criticising ourselves. Often, these behaviours serve a purpose. Alcohol, drugs, food and other habitual behaviours can become ways of managing difficult emotions, relieving stress or temporarily escaping from problems.

Understanding why we rely on them is important. Simply telling ourselves to stop rarely addresses the underlying reasons.

However, recognising that we are contributing to our own difficulties can be an important first step towards doing something differently.

Why Big Changes Often Don't Last

One of the problems with deciding to make a change is that we often try to do too much, too quickly.

We decide that from Monday we are going to stop drinking, eat perfectly, exercise every day, lose weight, get organised and completely change our lifestyle.

Initially, we might feel enthusiastic and motivated. There is something appealing about the idea of a fresh start.

But dramatic changes require considerable effort and commitment. When the initial enthusiasm fades, we can find ourselves returning to familiar habits.

Sometimes one setback is enough to convince us that we've failed altogether. We abandon the whole idea and return to where we started.

This can reinforce an unhelpful belief that we lack discipline or are incapable of changing.

The Japanese Philosophy of Kaizen: Small Changes, Lasting Results

There is a Japanese philosophy called Kaizen, which is based on the idea of continuous improvement through small, incremental changes.

Rather than attempting to transform everything overnight, the emphasis is on making manageable improvements consistently.

A useful modern way of thinking about this is to aim for a 1% improvement at a time.

Imagine wanting to become fitter. Rather than committing yourself to an exhausting exercise programme, start by walking for ten minutes a day.

If you want to eat more healthily, perhaps begin by changing one meal or reducing one particular habit.

If you drink more alcohol than you'd like, start by honestly examining how much you're drinking and consider what support you might need to change that pattern.

If you have an important piece of work to complete, don't necessarily try to finish it in one sitting. Commit to spending just fifteen minutes on it. Starting is often the hardest part.

The beauty of this approach is that small changes are generally easier to accommodate within our existing lives. They are less intimidating, require less initial motivation and can gradually become established habits.

Over time, these small improvements can accumulate into significant changes.

Importantly, a small step is still a step forward. It doesn't have to be dramatic to be worthwhile.

Stop Waiting for the Perfect Moment

One of the most common traps with procrastination is waiting until we feel ready.

We wait until we have more time, more energy, more confidence or the right frame of mind.

But that moment doesn't always arrive.

Sometimes the best way to feel more motivated is to start doing something, however small. Action can create motivation just as motivation can create action.

Instead of asking yourself how you're going to complete the entire task, ask yourself what the first small step might be.

Instead of thinking about giving up everything you enjoy, consider one manageable change that might improve your wellbeing.

And rather than criticising yourself for what you haven't done, acknowledge what you have managed to achieve.

There will inevitably be setbacks. They don't mean that you've failed. They simply provide an opportunity to understand what happened and begin again.

Understanding What Keeps Us Stuck

If you repeatedly find yourself avoiding important tasks or struggling to make changes that you know would benefit you, it may be worth looking a little deeper.

Sometimes procrastination is connected to anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, fear of failure or experiences from earlier in life. Sometimes our habitual behaviours are ways of managing emotional difficulties that we haven't yet fully understood.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I often find that lasting change involves looking beyond the behaviour itself and understanding what lies beneath it.

Whether you're struggling with anxiety, addiction, unhealthy habits or simply feeling stuck in a familiar pattern, understanding yourself can help you find a different way forward.

You don't have to change everything overnight. You don't even have to know exactly where you're going to begin.

Perhaps the most important thing is to stop firing that second arrow.

The first difficulty may be unavoidable, but we don't have to keep adding to our own suffering by putting off what we know needs attention.

Start small. Start today. And remember that even the smallest step in the right direction is progress.

How Therapy Can Help

If you recognise yourself in some of these patterns, talking them through with a psychotherapist can help you understand why you find yourself stuck and what might be preventing you from moving forward.

I offer confidential psychotherapy in St Albans, Hertfordshire and online, supporting individuals experiencing anxiety, addiction, relationship difficulties and other challenges.

Sometimes, the first step towards change is simply having a conversation.

If you'd like to explore this further, please get in touch to arrange a free initial telephone consultation.